Headline of the Week

Scientists: Nothing to fear from atom-smasher

Worried man: Are those black holes and killer particles?

Scientists: Move it along folks…nothing to see here.

Video Meltdown

And the award for worst choreography goes to:

Finnish group Armi and Danny with “I Wanna Love You Tender” from 1978.

These back-up dancers crack me up.

Jail Break Mistake

Via Yahoo! News:

Australian jail break foiled by air vent

A woman who attempted to escape from jail in Sydney had to be rescued by police after she became stuck in an air conditioning duct, police said on Thursday.

The 22-year-old woman had just been refused bail by a Sydney court when she attempted the escape, but then spent about an hour stuck in the air vent before she was rescued.

Police in the New South Wales state said the woman would now face an extra charge of attempting to escape.

Maybe she can claim she was using her butt as a duct cleaning device.

Is That Really a Good Idea?

Via goblyn.net:

The archery range is right next to the pool…where the daily toaster toss starts at 3pm.

Creating Bad Visuals

Creating Rem Lazar is a children’s video from the eighties that looks like it came right out of a Catholic Church Sunday School. The plot is described as:

Zack and Ashlee discover the meaning of true friendship when they create an imaginary friend, the superhero Rem Lezar.

Just replace the words “true friendship” with pedophilia and this would be accurate.

I think the creepiest moment is at the 1:12 mark where the kids are still staring at his crotch while he sings, “I’ll tuck you in at night.”

Don’t let the doo-wap that turns into horrid rap that turns into a violin solo confuse you (wait…wtf?). This is the same turkey complete with bad garb and hideous dancing.

And kids, if a man in a blue suit asks you to share his dreams and passions with you…just say no.

Another Day, Another Hasselhoff Post

Via crackmuffin:

Hoff Soap - New Hunky Aroma

I feel dirty now. So dirty.

Video Flashback

Visiting the world of all-time crappiest music videos, this is David Hasselhoff with Hooked on a Feeling:

This video is craptacular. First off it has David Hasselhoff…that should be enough to justify how bad it is to watch. He outdoes himself when he dons an Eskimo suit and begins skiing. The video editors were of no help either; they just had him randomly flying around the screen and projected him into various world locations with their Fisher Price My First Editing Skills. How any of this related to the song is unclear.

Some Assembly Required

Via This is Broken:

So what is wrong with this creepy kid and the fuzzy horse with a $350 price tag?

This hilarious warning:

Adults take note: Pony comes unassembled in box with head detatched. You may wish to not open the box around your children if they may be frightened by a box with a decapitated horse inside.

Psychological scarring in a box…sweet.

More Shocking Evidence of Stupidity

Via Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:

2 men charged in power line theft in Somerset County

Two men were charged this morning with trying to steal power lines in Somerset County, causing a power outage and injuring both of them.

Daniel Jay Basinger, 24, of Confluence, and Kevin Lee Lytle, 27, of Pittsburgh, were charged with attempted theft and criminal mischief.

State police in Somerset said Basinger and Lytle tried to steal wire attached to a transformer and adjacent poles along Humbert Road in Lower Turkeyfoot Township just after noon May 3. The equipment is owned by Penelec Power Company.

Both were shocked by an electrical charge during the attempted theft, police said. They fled the scene, but were later driven to Somerset Hospital for treatment.

Police said a power outage affected residences in the area for about five hours and caused $1,500 in damage to the power lines.

Basinger was arraigned by District Judge Sandra Stevanus this morning and released on unsecured bond. Lytle is still recovering from his injuries and has not yet been arraigned, police said.

While they were at the hospital, the suspects attempted to steal medicine from the pharmacy by injecting it in their veins. That didn’t go over too well either.

Headline of the Week

Great tits cope well with warming

Good to hear, BBC News!