One can only wonder what the hell Ames Department Store employees were supposed to gleam from this pile of flying manure, but here are some possibilities:
- Sleeping with the manager will get you a ride to work in his sports car. Blowing him during lunch may get you a ride home.
- Crunchios and Toaster Tarts cause orgasms.
- Total incompetence is super because fellow employees will cover your back without piercing a knife through it.
- Singing ‘Amazing Ames’ will promote peace and a better tomorrow.
“Mmmm. You know how I love my off-brand food.”
Yes, we do, you little slut.
It should come as no surprise that Ames filed for Internal A+ bankruptcy in 2001. And while that brings a tear to my eye, it must have tore apart the members of their fanclub.
